I can see the County Commission (or should I say Kounty Kommissar's) legislative agenda already:
1. Mandatory shopping at Earthfare. (Once daily consumtion of tofu required.)
2. Required ownership of at least one Volvo or a Toyota or Honda gas/electric hybrid car by any household planning to operate two or more vehicles. (All must have a Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker.)
3. Appointment of Pete McCommons as the Poet Laureate, Ort Carlson as the DJ Laureate, and Ed Tant as Commie Laureate of the PRACC (Peoples Republic of Athens Clarke County).
4. Mandatory wearing of Birkenstocks from Easter through Labor Day.
5. Declare the Boulevard district as a tax-free commune. (Rule 4 enforced year round in this area.)
6. Make ARMC a free AIDS clinic.
7. Full benefits for the domestic partners of PRACC employees.
8. Daily free concerts on College Square.
9. One hour daily of REM recordings on every radio station in the PRACC broadcast area.
10. Prohibition upon occupancy of any single family dwelling by more than one unrelated person. Same sex gay/lesbian domestic partners are exempt from this provision. (Rents will be limited to 75% of the monthly debt service.)
11. Begin campaign immediately to host the 2003 national Hacky Sack and team frisbee tournament.
12. All commercial facilities vacated by businesses moving to Oconee County will be seized by the PRACC for use as homeless shelters or organic food co-ops. Tim Johnson will be Kommissar of Urban Outdoorsmen.
13. Property acquisition will begin immediately for the O'Looney Skateboard Park.
14. Normal Hardware will be nationalized, its assets seized, and its proprietor exiled to Taliaferro County.
15. The Second Amendment will be suspended within the PRACC. Only law enforcement personnel and posses in search of evil Republicans are exempt from the prohibition upon keeping and bearing arms. The military is not exempt.
16. A local income tax of 50% will be imposed upon all resident family incomes in excess of $75,000. Registered democrats, Naderite greenies, plaintiff's lawyers, community activists, communists, and homosexuals are exempt.
And remember "from each according to his abilities and to each according to his needs".
Your friend, The Unknown Soldier in the War on Ignorance